just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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