he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
