I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize