Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?

(207): View more from Maine

You need to stop watching Twilight.

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(845): View more from New York

I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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(303): View more from Colorado

and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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(502): View more from Kentucky

you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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(407): View more from Florida

What's he like?

(954): View more from Florida

The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.

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