I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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