Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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(917): View more from New York City

And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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(+81): View more from

I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.

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(719): View more from Colorado

We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.

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(253): View more from Washington

We just fucked each other sober. #goteam

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