the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"