Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

(636): View more from Missouri

never have sex?

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(314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn

Replies (44) Good night (4095) Bad night (760)
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(805): View more from California

Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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(805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw

Replies (16) Good night (3988) Bad night (748)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

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(617): the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night http://tfl.nu/rgw3

Replies (12) Good night (4846) Bad night (702)
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(514): View more from Quebec

The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.

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(514): The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you. http://tfl.nu/k985

Replies (44) Good night (7820) Bad night (1211)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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(417): I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/weos

Replies (10) Good night (957) Bad night (4433)
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(941): View more from Florida

Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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(941): Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/ctw0

Replies (10) Good night (3202) Bad night (1470)
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(916): View more from California

nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds

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(916): nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds http://tfl.nu/1rag

Replies (5) Good night (1335) Bad night (2603)
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(556): View more from

I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.

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(556): I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk. http://tfl.nu/emsu

Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1553)
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(515): View more from Iowa

He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.

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(515): He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up. http://tfl.nu/h6j3

Replies (10) Good night (590) Bad night (1539)
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(619): View more from California

Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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(619): Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done http://tfl.nu/oq1m

Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (473)
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(61): View more from Australia

Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

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(61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3

Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (349)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.

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(970): I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through. http://tfl.nu/usec

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (399)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour

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(306): this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour http://tfl.nu/3t2e

Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (360)
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(407): View more from Florida

Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.

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(407): Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it. http://tfl.nu/js6g

Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (273)
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(912): View more from Georgia

They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED

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(912): They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED http://tfl.nu/f0xo

Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (148)

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