How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus