We named our party play list daddy issues
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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