how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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