My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
