I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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