i jhust puked up my retainher.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
