I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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