More tranny stories later!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
