Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
