I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
