Sponge bath it is.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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