dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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