The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
