best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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