Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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