New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
