Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
