How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
