so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
