i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
