so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They have beer where we have blood.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
