OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
jump out the window naked night went bad
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
