whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize