literally had 100 drinks last night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize