I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he was CRYING into my vagina
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
