I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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