Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
