when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i permit you to call me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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