you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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