I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
