FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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