Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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