How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
