yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I want is dick and wine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
