Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
