He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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