He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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