Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize