saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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