thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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