Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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