Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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