He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
