This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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