OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
