how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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