I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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