Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I enjoy the company of your penis
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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