there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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