So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
