i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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