I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
