My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
