Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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