Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
