So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
