so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
