I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
