margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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